Hey everybody,
So for my first post I thought I’d start out with a subject that most people have had some expertise/problems/hilarious situations with…DATING! Don’t worry I’m gonna narrow it down, but I’m first I’m gonna give you a little narrative so you can maybe see why this subject popped in my head and I’ll try to make it as short as possible without leaving out good details, and its in italics to give you that sort of voice-over feeling...enjoy.
So recently my sister and my nieces visited the rest of the family and me just for a nice visit (my sister and her family stay in Ohio). My nieces wanted to go out with me, and don’t worry, one is the same age as me and the other is 18 (blame that on my sister being significantly older than me) but anyways so we all went out to a club, had a great time and then it was time to get back to the car. If any of you have ever been to a club in a city-driven area, then you know often times the most interesting action takes place OUTSIDE the club at the end of the night…that’s when the fights break out, the music is pumpin, the people show off their cars, and of course when the fella’s try to get ladies digits (phone numbers)! I was driving, my niece that’s the same age as me was in the passengers seat and the younger one was in the backseat passenger side, of course there was traffic out so we just had to wait and it was still warm outside so the windows were open, a lot of guys who passed by the cars were hollering (tryin to talk) to my nieces, now that didn’t bug me, they’re attractive girls and they can handle themselves, meanwhile I’m trying to see if the traffics ever gonna let up and also texting my friends (and I wasn’t texting while driving, the car was not moving) so I notice that the conversation is getting really heated between my niece and this one guy and they end up arguing, I get up out the car and tell the guy basically to walk away, some of his friends are egging him on and some of his friends are like “this is embarrassing, ” “let’s go,” “I wanna leave,” “I’m hungry,” etc. One of the nice friends comes over and apologizes to me, and I’m a bit ashamed to say while the arguing continued I had a nice conversation with the friend, he was actually a nice guy and I did give him my cell number, pretty much sure he wasn’t going to call but since he took the time to see if the number I gave him was real I was like “why not?” The argument between my nieces and the guys stop, they walk away, the traffic lets up, we leave and are about to go get something to eat but I have to get gas, so I send my nieces to pay for the gas while I pump it when (ring ring) I get a phone call, it’s the guy I had given my number to, I was actually shocked he called. Don’t worry I have a point coming up very soon! Anyways, we talk and he’s like “come to the casino so we can hang out” I was like “wait a minute, didn’t your boys just have an argument with my nieces aren’t they gonna be there?” He said he didn’t care about his boys, he just wanted to spend some time with me and he’d take care of his friends so they don’t bother my nieces. I ended up declining and got my nieces some late night dinner/breakfast and took them back to where they were staying, on the ride home though, the question that kept popping into my head was….
Can you have a successful relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend if they don’t get along with your friends????
I mean, Yes, I understand those were my nieces so I’m probably a tad more protective but being they’re around the same age as me I see them as friends as well, not to mention I see my friends much more often than I see my family, so they wouldn’t have to endure a boyfriend as much as friends would so I wonder about the possibility.
I have a friend who used to make it an a priority that her boyfriend got along with her friends, so much so in fact that at times you could talk to him easier than you could to her, he ended up becoming “just one of the friends”, you almost forgot that they were dating if they didn’t occasionally kiss. Then I had this one friend who she KNEW everyone hated her boyfriend, we all kinda thought he was a jerk so there was really no redeeming him in our eyes, but we learned to keep our opinions to ourselves when we saw that it hurt her. Unfortunately that can make you a bad friend but that I can see how that would get annoying to our friend when she wants to talk about her boyfriend and she already knows how we feel, yet she did manage to keep us all separate so she could function happily between the friendship world and the personal relationship world.
Now these guys are long gone now, both my friends have moved on and are very happy in their current relationships but it still makes me wonder, if I had a boyfriend would I care if he got along with my friends? I’m not sure, I mean say I had a guy who just was wonderful to me, for me, and just made me happy but he and my friends were just not able to get along but I have a group of friends who mean the world to me too and I value their opinions. I mean, I get that there are plenty of worlds you keep separate, there’s work and school, there’s friend and family and now I recognize the friend and “more than friend” world.
One thing I do understand however and fully believe thought its that if you can’t occasionally overlap these worlds without it breaking out into WWIII, then how are you going to be happy? Now don’t get me wrong…it’s possible…it is FULLY possible because I have seen guys and girls work to make sure both words are satisfied but if you have to work extra hard to make sure others are happy, when are you going to be able to relax and just be happy for yourself? Just something to think about…
~Kei~
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